Comparison is a joy killer. And a block to growth and change.

But it doesn’t have to be. If you stop using it against yourself.

Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. 

The billable hours seesaw. 

It’s easy to spot where you are explicitly saying "yes" when you’d rather be saying "no."

Someone makes an ask of you, and you say, “yes.”

But what about all the *implicit* yeses?

All things women I’ve coached have worried about being perceived as.

I know you’re telling yourself “I should be faster at this” or “this is taking me too long” (without any data to support it).

SAYS WHO?!

Of course you do. All humans do. 

But more importantly, do you think of yourself as a “procrastinator,” and how do you feel when you think about yourself that way? 

Something you know is crucial, but that you probably aren’t focused on as much as you’d like to be (if at all) because you are deep in the trenches of law firm life? Your overall well-being.

It comes up all the time in my conversations with women about why their lives don’t look or feel the way they want them to.

I fully believe you can have a sustainable career as a lawyer. 

I also know so many associates think that’s impossible for them in the law firm environment. 

If you’re thinking about a new job, you might also be thinking something like: “I’m going to be starting over, and it is going to be hard.”

If that’s your reason for doing something, it might be time to reevaluate.

There were parts of my BigLaw experience that I loved. Lots of them.

There were parts that I didn’t love. Lots of these too.

We are all hungry for the “how.” 

We want it desperately. 

A list of the exact steps we need to take to get the thing that we want.

Survival School for Associates

Early on in my career, I strived to be a team player. That descriptor was regularly part of the positive reviews I got.

As I got more senior, I valued working with more junior people I considered team players. It was regularly part of the positive reviews I gave.

The associate experience often includes a lack of any meaningful feedback. I know this can be frustrating.

Growth is not linear.

Growth can look like a crawl or an inch or a scoot or a skosh rather than a step.

It’s not unusual to get to a point where you realize your job or career is just happening to you.

You’ve had your head down, working hard, just trying to make it through the days and weeks. And then…

Rest does not have to be earned. It is not bought with the currency of your time, effort, or hard work.

That is the question. (Or at least it often is if you’re a newer lawyer).

It can feel scary to ask questions of people more senior than you. No matter what the question is.