The Billable Hour Seesaw
Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
The billable hours seesaw.
If you’ve worked in a billable hour model, you’re familiar with it. At the top of the seesaw, too many hours. At the bottom, not enough hours.
It used to feel more like a roller coaster to me than a seesaw.
At the top of the seesaw…
Emotions like:
▫️Overwhelm
▫️Anxiety
▫️Exhaustion
Thoughts like:
▫️“I can’t handle this.”
▫️“There’s too much to do and not enough time.”
▫️“I’m drowning.”
At the bottom the seesaw…
Emotions like:
▫️Anxiety
▫️Fear
▫️Self-Doubt
Thoughts like:
▫️“I’m going to get fired.”
▫️“I must be bad at this and so no one wants to work with me.”
▫️“I’ll never make my hours.”
Then of course there is that brief time in the middle where it’s somewhat balanced, and you feel like your feet are planted firmly on the ground and you might actually be able to do this.
Would it be great if it was balanced (or at least more balanced) all the time? For many of us, the answer is yes. But for most practices, it just never will be. That’s not how seesaws work.
BUT you can stop fighting the ups and downs and work with them to enjoy them more.
You can stop pining for a perfect “work life balance” that doesn’t exist - one where everything feels good and runs smoothly, where you never drop any balls, where everyone is happy with you all the time, and where you are always perfect - and instead start living a life you love that accounts for the ups and downs.
You can set boundaries that make you feel more grounded, calm, and whole.
You can learn to enjoy your life when things are slow at work instead of sitting at your computer trying to will a new matter to show up in your inbox.
You can stop telling yourself “If I can just make it through until X, I’ll feel better” and “As soon as my hours pick up, I’ll feel better” knowing good and well that you won’t actually feel better, and instead, actually start feeling better now.
You can change the way you think about the seesaw when it is up and when it is down
You can change the way the seesaw feels.
First step is to stop fighting its existence and expect the seesaw to do what a seesaw does. Second step is to start getting curious about what it would look like for you to work with it.
A ❤️ note to you: I know what it’s like to feel like you’re at the mercy of the billable hour. I also know you can make it feel better. Not perfect. It will never feel perfect. You will always be a human being with the full panoply of human emotions. But if you want to start feeling better now, I can help. Send me a DM or sign up for a call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.
