The strength of your feelings has nothing to do with the veracity of the thought that is causing them.
The magnitude of your feelings reflects the strength of your belief in the thought.
Your level of attachment to that thought.
For example, if you feel extreme shame…
It just means that you have a deep-seated belief that you did something shameful.
Not that you actually did something that is inherently shameful (because there’s no such thing as inherently shameful). Not that you are shameful. Not that you should be ashamed.
A belief is just a sentence in your mind.
A sentence that you do not have to believe. Indulge. Or live by.
Do not let the strength of your feelings confuse you.
Thoughts are always optional. No matter how “true” it feels. (“True” isn’t actually a feeling. “True” is another thought).
If you have a really strong emotional reaction to something, check in to see if that emotion is serving you.
Is it causing you to behave in a way that you don’t like?
If not, then that is the perfect time to examine the thought causing the feeling.
Observe it.
Objectively and honestly.
Challenge it.
Change it if it isn’t serving you.
Keep it if you want to.
But do not accept that it is true just because it causes a strong emotional reaction.
And remember, nothing has gone wrong.
It’s fine to have big feelings.
That’s what humans do.
Sometimes they will feel bigger and strong than other times.
And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything about you.
You deserve grace.
From yourself.
For yourself.
You deserve compassion.
From yourself.
For yourself.
You deserve curiosity.
About yourself.
For yourself.
Always.
A love note to you: If self-compassion isn't your thing. I get it. But here's the deal. You've gotten really good at blaming and judging yourself. You're an expert. What that shows me is that you are capable of believing the things you think about yourself. Which means you can learn to think new things about yourself. You can learn to give yourself grace and compassion. I can help you with that. DM me or signup for a free consult at at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. Let me help you see that you deserve compassion and grace.
