“Isn’t this how people become narcissistic?”

The main things I work with my clients on — the concepts that I think are life-changing for high-achieving women - are self-love, self-compassion, and self-trust.

I often hear some version of this concern.

Women are legitimately concerned that if they work towards becoming a person who fully loves and trusts themselves they will end up a narcissist.

My response (with all the love in the world)?

A NARCISSIST! For Pete’s sake. You know who doesn’t worry about being a narcissist?

Narcissists!

You know who does worry about being a narcissist?

Women.

Women who question whether they can or should ever love themselves.

Women who think it is selfish to take care of themselves over all others.

Women who have been taught time and time again that they are not enough just as they are. Or that they are too much.

This is why I got into coaching.

I hear it time and time again from women.

They truly believe that loving themselves might make or will make them a narcissist.

They truly believe that putting themselves first makes them selfish or irresponsible.

I need you to know this with every fiber of my being.

Loving yourself is not the same as thinking you are better than or superior to other people.

Putting yourself first is not the same as ignoring everyone else’s wants and needs.

Loving yourself exponentially expands your capacity to love other people.

Putting yourself first allows you to truly show up for other people how and when you want to.

Loving yourself makes you more compassionate and less judgmental.

Putting yourself first allows you to have the strength, time, and space to make your greatest impact on the world.

In fact, putting yourself first and loving yourself is the only way you can actually be truly selfless.

Because when you take care of you--

You can show up not expecting or needing anything from anyone.

You can show up to serve other people (if you want to) in a way that doesn’t require you to lose, hide, or change any part of yourself.

Loving yourself does not make you a narcissist.

Putting yourself first is not selfish.

Nothing bad happens when you love yourself.

Nothing bad happens when you put yourself first.

Only good things can come from that.

I want those good things for you.

You deserve good things.

And the world deserves the version of you that loves herself, trusts herself, and puts herself first.

A love note to you:

If this resonated with you in anyway - this fear of becoming a narcissist is likely holding you back in so many ways that you don’t even realize yet. Including from having a life and a career that feel amazing. If you’re ready to change that, I’m ready to help. Send me an email or sign up for a FREE consult at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will spend an entire hour talking about you and the life you wish you had or thought you had and how we can create that life for you.