The Losing Game

Ever feel like you’re constantly choosing between work and personal commitments—and no matter what you choose, guilt follows?

We hear so much about achieving “work-life balance,” but the reality isn’t that simple. Deadlines, last-minute changes, or a growing to-do list can quickly derail even the best-laid plans. You tell yourself you’ll make it to that dinner or event, but when the time comes, work wins again.

It’s frustrating. You want to show up for the people and moments that matter, but you’re also juggling real responsibilities. And somehow, guilt sneaks in no matter which side you pick.

So we are left chasing mythical “work-life balance.”

I hate this phrase. I think it is problematic when applied to women because it often reinforces stereotypes, creates unrealistic expectations, and oversimplifes complex realities. 

The phrase is often targeted at women because society traditionally views them as the primary caretakers of home and family. This reinforces the idea that women must shoulder the dual burden of excelling professionally while managing most of the domestic and emotional labor—a double standard not equally applied to men.

And "balance" suggests that work and life can be perfectly aligned, which is rarely achievable. For women, who may face unique career barriers (e.g., the gender pay gap, lack of workplace flexibility, or limited access to leadership roles), the pressure to "balance" can feel like an unattainable ideal that sets them up for guilt or self-criticism when they fall short.

It isn’t about finding the right balance. Whatever that means. 

It isn’t about managing your time perfectly so that you never disappoint anyone. (Impossible.) 

It’s about ditching both of those ideas, and then working on defining your values for your life and making decisions based on those values. 

Do you know what your values are?

If you looked at the way you are spending your time, does it align with those values?