You Can Be Both

You can be a kind person and still be direct.

You can be a hard worker and still set boundaries.

You can be successful and still be you.

You can be a boss and still be soft when you want to.

You can be compassionate and still be assertive. 

You can be a team player and still say “no.” 

You can rest and not be lazy. 

These things aren’t mutually exclusive.

So why do we feel such cognitive dissonance about being all these things at once? Because people socialized as women have been taught to believe that being "good" or "worthy" means fitting into narrow, often contradictory labels. We’re told we must be kind but not too assertive, hardworking but not "difficult," successful but humble, and so on. The rules are impossible to satisfy, and they’re designed to keep us small.

You can also decide you don’t care about being kind, hard-working, successful, a boss, compassionate, a team player, or any other label you’ve been taught to chase. You get to define what matters to you—and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

If you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, you might as well be your own favorite flavor of you.