Decisionmaking Obstacle No. 1: What if I make the wrong decision?

1️⃣ This question is a thought error. There are no wrong decisions.

There are just different decisions that produce different results. (Which provide data for your inevitable next decision). 

What makes something a wrong decision is only you deciding that it was the wrong decision after the fact.

And you never have to decide a decision was wrong. 

You can choose right now not to believe that you made the wrong decision. You can choose not to berate yourself about the decision. You can choose to view the decision as a learning opportunity.

You can choose to be proud of yourself regardless of the outcome. No matter what happens.

But if you’re used to berating yourself, judging yourself, and questioning yourself, it’s going to feel scary to make decisions because your brain knows that you’re going be a jerk to yourself if things don’t go perfectly. 

2️⃣ Your brain thinks indecision is helpful and change is dangerous. 

Your brain’s job is to keep you safe and to expend as little energy as possible. It thinks it is doing that by keeping you from making a decision – by maintaining the status quo. The devil you know. That brings certainty that your brain craves. 

Your brain doesn’t realize that you aren’t in actual danger. Instead, there are just some thoughts you are afraid to think and some feelings you are afraid to feel once the decision has been made. 

And your brain forgets there are always more decisions to be made. 

Maybe you won’t be able to undo this exact decision, but you can always make new and different decisions in the future if you don’t like the results of this one. 

3️⃣ Negative emotions are a normal part of doing something new and making change. 

Even if you decide how you want to think and feel about your decision in advance, you’re still going to have some negative emotions pop up once the decision has been made and/or implemented. 

But that doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong.

Regret, fear, self-doubt, and anxiety are not signs of anything. It just means you have a human brain. And they are temporary.

⭐️ Some questions to ask yourself when you’re worrying about whether you are making the “right” decision:

• How would you know if this decision was “right”? 

• Is it solely based on whether it works out exactly the way you wanted it to (something you can’t know until you make the decision)?

• Is it solely based on you never having a negative feeling related to the decision or the outcome? 

• If so, do you like that as your paradigm for making decisions?

• If you know you’re going to experience negative emotion either way, which thing would you choose? 

• Which decision gets you closer to where you want to be and to having the life you want? Both will come for discomfort - which one is worth the discomfort on the other side?

• What are your reasons for choosing each option? Do you like those reasons?

• How do I want to talk to myself after I make this decision? 

A ❤️ note to you: Got a big decision you’re facing? Just generally wish you were more decisive?  Let’s do something about it. I help my clients learn how to make faster decisions, with less drama, guilt, overwhelm, and anxiety. Send me an email or schedule a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult to get started.