The Associate Experience: Artificial and Arbitrary Deadlines

Artificial and arbitrary deadlines are an inevitable part of being an associate.

Being frustrated by them is not.

And believe me, I used to get SO annoyed by the fake deadlines.

You know the ones.

Where a partner asks for something by a specific date and then doesn’t review it for a week after you frantically worked to turn it in by the deadline.

Or promises something to a client by a specific date without checking with you even though you’ll be doing most of the heavy lifting.

“They shouldn’t do that.”

That’s what I told myself.

Then I’d get frustrated. Stew about it. Complain to my work BFF. Seeking confirmation that it was in fact SO annoying. Stew about it some more.

Turn it in.

Then, repeat the process when neither the partner nor the client looked at the thing for a while.

All resulting in me expending unnecessary mental and emotional energy.

With zero impact on the partner, the client, or the deadline.

If this resonates with you, there are a few things that can help:

First, acknowledge that telling yourself “they shouldn’t do that” isn’t helpful or empowering, and stop doing it. It doesn’t matter if they should or shouldn’t. Because they did it. 

And it’s that thought that is causing your frustration. Not the deadline. 

Of course, they gave you a fake deadline. That’s a thing people do sometimes. Even people who have the best of intentions. 

Second, start exercising the control you do have from a clean emotional place.

Offering an alternative deadline.

Telling them you can meet it, but they aren’t going to get that other thing from you as soon as they wanted.

Telling them you can’t make that work, but you’re happy to help them find someone who can.

Asking them to help you prioritize so that you can meet their deadline. 

I get it. You don’t have to and aren’t going to want to do this in every situation. But you can start doing it sometimes. Sure it’s uncomfortable. But so is being annoyed by the fake deadline. 

The decision to stop creating your own frustration and to start exercising the control you’ve previously been giving up? Game changer.

A ♥️ note to you: None of this is to say I think people SHOULD give you artificial and arbitrary deadlines. I definitely wish it would never happen for you. But it will. And it may sound impossible not to be annoyed by this. I promise it isn’t. I learned how to do it. And I help my clients learn to do it. You can too. If you’re interested in learning how to be less frustrated with other people at work, let’s get started. Send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free consult with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.