Saying “No” at Work

If you Google “how to say no at work,” there’s no shortage of ways to phrase your “no.”

But I’m guessing that’s not really your problem.

It isn’t WHAT to say.

It’s HOW to make yourself say anything at all.

It’s that you don’t even realize all of the ways that you are saying “yes,” so you don’t even have the opportunity to consider a “no” instead. 

It’s that no matter how you phrase it, it’s so uncomfortable to get it out of your mouth that you don’t say it. (At least not as often as you want or in certain situations where you really want to.)

It’s that no matter what words you use, you’re too afraid of what happens when you say “no,” so you say “yes.”

Or you don’t think you can say it because you don’t have a good enough excuse, so you say “yes.”

Even when you know you’re already at or past capacity.

Even when you know it’s going to ruin your weekend.

Even when you’re already on the edge of burnt out.

Even when you know you’re going to hate the project or hate working with this person.

Women get so much socialization starting so early that our value is determined by what or how much we do, what and how much we do for others, and/or what other people think of us (and in particularly whether they think we are nice, kind, and helpful).

Of course it feels bad to say “no.” Of course your brain rarely thinks about whether it’s even an option. 

But you can change that. Saying “no” is a skill you can build, and you can do it in a way that feels safe and doable and aligned with who you want to be in this world. 

That’s what I work with clients on. I’ve watched many amazing women become people who can say “no” in a way that feels completely aligned. To get started becoming that version of yourself, send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.