Actions speak louder than words. Except when they don’t.

Like in the workplace.

Women are taught from an early age to be deferential, humble, nice, and accommodating.

We learn to be the good girl in school. To follow the rules, get good grades, and not make trouble.

To put our heads down and quietly do all the work.

And wait for others to notice.

We learn to equate touting our accomplishments to making trouble. Being arrogant. Bragging.

This follows us into our careers where we rinse and repeat.

Head down. Work quietly. Hope to be rewarded.

Would it be great if it were enough to just do good work?

Of course.

But in my experience that is rarely the case.

Systemic change is needed in the way women are viewed and treated in professional spaces.

But we can also create change on the individual level. Internal change to stop buying into the messaging that has us shrinking and external action.

More self-promotion and self-advocacy is one way, on an individual level, that we can intentionally show up for us and take up more space.

There is absolutely a possibility that it will come with repercussions. But there are also repercussions if we don’t. 

A great place to start is to simply acknowledge and keep track of your accomplishments, kudos, and wins. 

I like to keep a file.

Emails I’ve received from clients. Emails to myself about things that I’ve done well. Emails from colleagues. 

Do you have something similar? How do you keep track of wins?

A great second step is to find ways to share them.

I used my file of emails when I had an annual performance review as an associate or to advocate for myself for promotion to partner.

(I also use them when I’m having one of those days of self-doubt. To remind myself of the evidence I have that I’m good at this job.)

Other ways you could consider sharing your wins:

▫️Share them here on LinkedIn

▫️Send your boss a list of things you’ve accomplished at the end of each month or quarter or set up a meeting to discuss them

▫️Advocate for a new opportunity for yourself and use those wins to show why you’re the person for that opportunity

▫️When someone congratulates you on something, don’t diminish it. Acknowledge that you worked hard. Acknowledge that it was complex. 

▫️Nominate yourself for an award or accolade or leadership role.

If it feels really uncomfortable to share your wins, I get it.

It takes practice.

My favorite way to start getting comfortable with this is to find a colleague or a friend that you can start sharing with. Let them do the same. Trade wins.

Practice sharing with one another until it starts to get comfortable.

Sharing in a safe space can help you learn to create safety for yourself when you start sharing in a space that doesn’t feel and often isn’t as safe.

A ❤️ note to you: If this uncomfortably impossible, I can help you start advocating for yourself more. Send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.