The Busy Badge of Honor
Busy is not a badge of honor.
But in our society, we tend to wear it that way.
Being busy all the time is considered a sign of success and importance in a culture that tends to value productivity above all else (particularly as a means to producing something of monetary value). A culture that vilifies “laziness,” true rest, and true self-care. A culture where your value as a human being is often measured by what you can achieve and how much you do. A culture where it is intentionally far harder for some people to achieve these things than others.
And women are indeed busy. At work. At home. And everywhere in between. For a wide variety of reasons.
Including that women are taught (and other people expect) that they will do all the things for all the people except themselves.
Including the reality that women face that they do often have to work harder and work more (a sentiment that is even truer for women with additional identities that have been historically marginalized). See, e.g., the Gender Pay Gap, the Authority Gap, the Mommy Track, the Glass Ceiling, the Glass Cliff, etc.
This busyness leads to being overworked, stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted and to burnout, poor mental and physical health, decreased productivity, missed opportunities, and a lack of fulfillment in our careers and lives.
But we feel obligated to maintain the busyness or even just the appearance of being busy to meet the expectations of others, to feel and communicate a sense of accomplishment and validation, and to help prove our worth to the world around us.
And that busyness often works as a shield. Because we have been taught to believe we have to have a “good” excuse for saying “no” to something - and often the only excuse we consider good enough is if we literally have zero time to do the thing we are being asked to do.
That busyness is more often than not unintentional. An (intended) byproduct of our socialization and the world we live in.
To be clear, busyness isn’t inherently a bad thing. But when that busyness is unintentional - when it is born of the belief that busyness has some sort of moral value - it doesn’t serve you. Being busy for the sake of being busy doesn’t serve you and can make it impossible to have the life you want.
It keeps us tolerating a life we don’t want in a way that benefits a system not intended to benefit us.
If you continue to wear busyness as a badge of honor…
If your self-worth is wrapped up in how busy you are…
You have to stay busy to believe you are a worthy or valuable human being. And your life will continue to feel busy.
A ❤️ note to you: Don’t know how to stop doing all the things? Can’t stop being busy long enough to figure out how to be less busy? Tired of being on the go all the time just trying to survive until the weekend or next month? I’ve got you covered. Send me a DM or sign up for free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult, and I’ll tell you how we can work together to build you a life that is less busy and more fulfilling.
