When the Truth Has No Value

The truth of a thought vs. its value. These things are not the same.

We tend to be very attached to our thoughts.

We believe they are true. Taking them at face value without question. Especially those mean girl thoughts. 

And of course we do.

Our brain offers them to us - why would we think them if they weren’t true?

For many of them, we’ve thought them for so long and so many times they feel like an indisputable fact.

Most of the time they aren’t.

But we hear them in our own voice in our head, making it seem like we came up with them based on objective evidence.

Most of the time we didn’t. They were given to us from some external source without us knowing what was happening.

Thoughts like:

I’m awkward.

I’m too loud.

I’m lazy.

I don’t know what to do.

I shouldn’t have done that.

I have to work hard to make money.

I can’t stick to a plan.

I’m not smart enough.

If only I were better at managing my time.

I am overwhelmed.

This is hard.

I’m just an anxious person.

I’m bad with money.

I always do this.

I’m not good at X.

I don’t know how to do X.

I have to do X.

I should do X.

I can’t do X.

Ultimately, it doesn’t actually matter if a single one of them is true.

This is the only thing that matters:

Is the thought helpful?

Is it serving you?

Here’s how you know if the thought isn’t helpful.

What feeling does the thought cause? What action or inaction come from that feeling? What results are you getting from that action or inaction? Do you like those results?

If the answer is no, then the thought isn’t serving you.

You are under no obligation to continue thinking it or believing it. (Easier said than done, of course!)

That’s where the question “Is it true?” could be helpful.

If you have a thought you no longer want to believe or that isn’t serving you, start dismantling it.

How ISN’T the thought true? How might you be wrong?

Our thoughts are almost never objectively or universally true.

Even if you can’t dismantle it, what else could you choose to think instead? What would serve you better? 

Tell me: What is one thought you have right now that isn't serving you, and what could you think instead?