Let’s talk about that to-do list.
It’s Monday. Are you putting together an overly ambitious to-do list that you inevitably aren’t going to complete? So that you can then beat yourself up about it?
I know that pattern well… But I’ve got a solution for you.
Cut it in half.
Seriously.
Right now. Or at least cut it down to 75%.
Another option: Set three things that are a priority for each day. Decide right now, that if you complete those three things, it will be a successful day. Anything else is gravy.
If you get everything done early, then great! You get the satisfaction of having checked everything off the list, which you can and should celebrate. And then you can add things back one at a time depending on how much time you have left in your day or week.
We overestimate what we can do in the short term and underestimate what we can do in the long term.
So you cram stuff onto the to-do list in the hopes that this day or week will be different. That you will somehow find the time to get those things done.
And then you don’t.
And then you beat yourself up.
When you use your to-do list against yourself - i.e., when you set yourself up for failure by making it unrealistic and then shame yourself for inevitably failing - not only are you not getting the stuff done anyway, but it feels terrible. And when you feel bad, it’s harder to get things done and harder to see where the real problem lies with your time management techniques.
Then you rinse and repeat. When you do that, you start to lose trust in yourself. That lack of self-trust leads to more of the same. More overestimating. Less checking things off. More shame or guilt.
So cut it down. Stop setting yourself up for failure. And when you do check something off, take a second to pat yourself on the back.
A ❤️ note for you: If you find yourself in the constant cycle of creating a to-do list, not finishing it, and then being mean to yourself, I see you. I was you. There is a better way. I can show you. Send me a DM or sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.
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I’m Jenn Deal. I am a life and career coach for women lawyers. You know how so many women lawyers struggle with feeling anxious, overwhelmed, unmotivated, or stuck? I help them feel in control over their lives and careers.
