Paving a Path to Burnout One .1 at a Time
One year as a mid-level associate, I spent 10 months straight annualizing about 2300 billable hours.
Listen, I know there are plenty of attorneys for whom that’s the norm. And plenty who are used to billing even more that. But for me, with my anxiety and depression layered on top, plus all of the non-billable stuff I loved to do, it was too much.
I was paving a path toward burnout one .1 at a time.
But it never occurred to me to question how much I was working. Or to ask for help.
I just thought it was something that had to be done.
My plan was just to keep my head down until things naturally slowed down on their own. Which wasn’t coming anytime soon.
Fortunately, someone intervened.
A partner had taken a look at my hours.
He said something to me that has stuck with me.
“This isn’t sustainable.”
Pure relief. (And gratitude. Not everyone has that kind of mentor in their life.)
He confirmed what I already knew deep down, but I wasn’t at a place in my life where I was willing to trust my own gut. Where I felt able to give myself the permission to do less. Where my self-worth wasn’t tied up in doing the most and being the best. Where I was comfortable enough to say “no” to work.
That was the permission I was waiting for to ask for help with my workload. I had plenty of busy times afterward - that’s just the life of a litigator. But it was always much more temporary.
Yes, I could have saved myself so much agony by just asking for help in the first place. Or setting some boundaries before I got to a place of needing help.
Giving myself the permission I sought.
I’m not mad at the version of me. I don’t blame her. She didn’t know better.
If that’s you - if you aren’t ready to give yourself permission to acknowledge when something isn’t sustainable, when something isn’t for you, when something isn’t the way you want it…
Let me be that person for you.
Ultimately, you already have permission to choose something different. You are the ONLY person you need permission from.
But I’m happy to give you that permission if you aren’t ready or able to give it to yourself.
If you don’t think the amount you are working is sustainable, it isn’t. Regardless of what your hours look like. It’s not a competition (and the prize for overworking is just more work and burnout). What might be sustainable for you isn’t the same as what might be sustainable for anyone else. What was sustainable for you before might not be sustainable now.
Don’t wait around for someone to notice how much you are working. Don’t assume that because no one has noticed they don’t care or won’t help. Don’t wait around until your body tells you enough is enough.
Make the choice now to do something different.
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A ❤️ note to you: If you know your current pace isn’t sustainable, but you don’t know what to do about it or you’re too uncomfortable to ask for help. I hear you. You’ve spent years tying your self worth to how much you do. And years of worrying about what people think about you. Years of sacrificing yourself for others and for some perfect version of you that isn’t attainable. I can help you stop overworking. Send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) that says HELP, and I’ll send you a link to hop on a call with me, or sign up for a call at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. On the call, we will (1) assess where you are now and where you want to be, (2) I’ll tell you how coaching can get you there, and (3) you’ll decide whether you’re ready to move forward with me and actually enjoy your life and your job.
