My Forever PSA to High-Achieving Women

What you think motivates you:

• Shame 

• Guilt

• Stress

• Self-judgment

• Self-criticism

What will actually motivate you:

• Self-compassion

• Self-trust

• Self-acceptance

• Self-love

A lot of high-achieving women believe they need the things on the first list to motivate themselves. 

That those things have gotten them where they are. 

But you’ve gotten where you are DESPITE those things. 

You’ve white-knuckled your way to where you are.

Because these things almost always lead to the opposite of the result you want. 

They make you want to hide. To quit. 

And they always lead to more of the same. More shame. More guilt. More anxiety. More overwhelm. More stress. More self-judgment. More self-criticism.

Even if you can shame or guilt yourself into action, it isn’t sustainable.

It will inevitably lead to burnout, resentment, anger, and/or despair.

You may believe that if you start feeling good about yourself, your work, your relationships, or your life, then you will stop working hard. 

Stop going after the big goals and dreams. 

Stop doing great work. 

Stop growing. 

Stop challenging yourself. 

Stop showing up for other people.

Stop succeeding.

The opposite is true. 

Feeling good about yourself, taking care of yourself, trusting yourself, and understanding yourself expands your life. 

Fully understanding your values and priorities and being intentional about how much time you are giving them expands your life. 

You have more energy and more cognitive space to be creative, think more broadly, to dream bigger, to execute better, and to create a life that you actually want. One that feels good.

Your capacity to love, connect with, and support other people expands exponentially. 

You create more time for yourself and your dreams when you aren’t spending all of it judging and criticizing yourself or telling yourself the way things “should” be different or the way you “should” be different.

A ♥️ note to you: I get it. It feels like if you are nice to yourself or if you take time off, you’ll become lazy and never get anything done. I promise it isn’t true. Human beings are intrinsically motivated. You’ve just lost sight of how to find that intrinsic motivation because it is buried underneath all the self criticism and negative. You can learn how to find your intrinsic motivation again. To get started, send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free consult with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.