Self-Advocacy in the Workplace

Self-advocacy in the workplace can be really uncomfortable. 

In my last post, I talked about why that is for people who are socialized as women. Read that first so you can stop judging yourself. 

But if you want to advocate for yourself more often, you can both decrease your discomfort with it and expand your capacity for taking action despite your discomfort. 

Here are some ways to get started: 

1️⃣ Change the way you think about yourself and talk to yourself. 

One way to start doing this is to regularly and actively sell yourself on your value, skills, knowledge, and accomplishments. Keep a running list of ways in which you add value at work (that don’t include how much or how hard you work), skills you have, areas where you have knowledge or expertise, and things you’ve accomplished. Be specific. Nothing is too inconsequential to go on the list. Refer back to it regularly. Add on to it regularly. Journal on it. Think about how you would perceive that woman if she weren’t you.

This can help you shift whatever your current narrative is about yourself, AND confirmation bias will start to work in your favor. Your brain will start to look for evidence that confirms the new narrative, instead of whatever your current negative narrative is about yourself.  

2️⃣ Practice discomfort in small doses to build your capacity for taking action despite discomfort. 

Some options:

Create a support system. Find a colleague, have coffee once a week, and share your wins, why you add value at work, and why you are great at what you do. Even this will probably be uncomfortable at first if you aren’t used to advocating for yourself. So creating a safe space where you can practice helps build your tolerance for (and ultimately will lessen the overall discomfort you feel). 

Start sharing your accomplishments with your manager or boss via email on a regular basis (don’t wait for your annual review to roll around). In person communication can feel scarier than sending something in writing. Side note: This is a win/win situation. It can only benefit your boss or supervisor to know that the people they are supervising are crushing it. It makes them look good.

Find small ways to promote yourself. For example: Does your company have a company-wide or external newsletter where wins are shared? Does it make social media posts about employee wins? Find a win you could promote and draft something for your company to share. Another win/win situation that benefits you and your company.

Start building in small boundaries. Start pausing before you say “yes” to anything and say “no” to lower stakes things more often (and decide in advance that you are going to say “no” to those kinds of things). Turn off phone and email notifications. Block off 20 minutes of time for yourself or an hour to do deep work. Stop automatically accepting meeting invites.