Difficult Conversations in the Workplace - Part 1

We’ve all had them. We’ve all avoided them. We’ve all struggled with them. 

Let’s chat about how to make them less difficult. 

First, what makes a conversation difficult?

We often think it is the topic that makes it difficult, e.g., asking for help, negotiating with opposing counsel, responding to client concerns, or delivering constructive criticism. But, in reality, what makes these conversations difficult is how we feel when we think about the conversation and how we anticipate feeling during it. These feelings are heavily impacted by our thoughts about the conversation. Ultimately, if we think that the conversation is going to be a “difficult” one, it is inevitably going to feel that way.

Second, how can we make conversations feel less difficult?

Change your mindset and have a strategy. Having a strategic focus for the conversation is important. But without a shift in your thinking about the conversation, it will feel exactly the same, and you will show up in the same way, regardless of the strategy. I’m going to give you tips for both. 

Let’s start with shifting your mindset.

The first step is: 

Awareness. You can’t change what you don’t know is happening, so get clear on how you are thinking about the conversation. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself some key questions:

• What are my negative thoughts about the conversation?

• What feels the stickiest or worries me the most?

• Why do I think this conversation is going to be difficult?

• What am I feeling (or expecting to feel) and why?

Check back tomorrow for what to do with all that new-found awareness!