The One About Wanting External Validation

What would change for you if you stopped judging yourself for wanting external validation? For caring about what other people think of you?

Of course you want that validation. Of course you care. It’s a normal human thing to do. 

In fact, those of us socialized as women have long been taught to believe (incorrectly) that our worth is dictated by other people’s opinions of us. 

Learning how to validate yourself is amazing. It changes the way you show up in the world. It changes the way you experience the world. 

It lets you get off the exhausting roller coaster of allowing external achievements and other people’s thoughts, feelings, and actions to dictate the way you feel about yourself. 

But the way to learn how to validate yourself is through judging yourself for wanting validation or caring what other people think. 

By telling yourself “It’s stupid” that you care or that you “shouldn’t.”

In fact, that does the opposite.  

You make your brain an unsafe space for you to be in.

One that’s going to judge you the same way you are worried about other people judging you. 

It becomes just another thing you can beat yourself up over.

Next time you are judging yourself for wanting external validation or caring what other people think - try creating some internal safety.

Stop. 

Take a breath.

And create some compassion for yourself. 

Of course you want external validation. How human of you.