Knowing vs. Doing - Part 3

This week I’ve been talking about those times where you tell yourself that you understand something logically or intellectually but… you feel like you just can’t change your behavior accordingly. 

And you don’t like it.

Yesterday, I talked about one of the more common reasons for this in connection with the example of taking time off – that 1️⃣ you don’t fully believe whatever it is you say you logically understand (i.e., that you can take time off).

Let’s keep exploring that example along with the other two most common reasons: 

2️⃣You don’t like the way you feel when you think about acting in alignment with the thing you keep telling yourself is logical or that you know intellectually is true - i.e., actually taking the time off that you know you logically are allowed to; and 

3️⃣You are afraid of the tradeoff or consequences - i.e., if you take time off. 

How do you expect you would feel if you took time off? 

Anxious? Guilty? Overwhelmed? 

Those feelings are created by your thoughts. Not by the fact that you are taking time off. 

Thoughts like:

🔹Something is going to go wrong while I’m gone.

🔹I’m going to have so much work to catch up on when I get back, it’s not even worth being on vacation.

🔹My team is going to have to work hard. 

🔹My boss is going to think I’m unmotivated or lazy.

🔹There’s too much today.

The same is true for potential tradeoffs or consequences. 

The tradeoffs we fear never happen as often as we think they will nor are they ever as bad as we imagine. 

You know this. But that gets us to what you are really afraid of: How you will feel if the tradeoff happens. 

Those feelings are also created by how you think about the tradeoff and how you talk to yourself about it.

The good news is that this is the part you can control.

The way you think. And therefore the way you feel and how you show up in the world. 

You can learn to think about doing the thing or the potential tradeoff or consequence in a way that doesn’t make you feel bad or at least as bad. How do you want to feel? How would you need to think to feel that way? How can you start shoring up that new thought?

You can also decide to let it be uncomfortable and do it anyway because it serves you. 

Those two things are how you move from taking no action or actions that don’t serve you to showing up in a way that aligns with who you are and what you want. 

A ❤️ note to you: This is one of the things we do in coaching. Implement these tools and get you unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck in the same old patterns, maybe it’s time to try something new. To get started, send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free consult at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will talk about what’s you got stuck, why you haven’t been able to get unstuck, and how you can start making impactful changes in your life.

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I’m Jenn Deal. You know how so many women lawyers constantly struggle with feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck? I help them create careers and lives that feel good.