Do you want to do it, or do you just think you should?

There’s a huge difference between truly wanting to do something and only believing that you should do it.

Notice where you are telling yourself that you want to do something, but you aren’t actually doing it.

Do you actually want to do it?

Or do you just think you should?

That you “should” for whatever the reason. Because someone else is doing it. Because someone told you should. Because it’s some idea you unconsciously picked up from somewhere and adopted it as your own.  

When you are telling yourself you should do something and that it isn’t motivating you to do it, you most likely also then creating shame for not having done the thing. 

It is very difficult to do anything from a place of shame. Shame usually leads to inaction.

Which leads to more shame each time you don’t do the thing.

Telling yourself you are lazy. Or you have no willpower. Or you are a terrible person. Or there is something wrong with you.

For not having done the thing you “should” do.

Which then erodes your trust in your ability to do other things and your desire to do anything new or hard. 

You double down on the shame. And you double down on the inaction.

As always, the first step is creating awareness. 

Do you actually want to do it?

Or do you just think you should?

And if you think you should, why? Do you like your reasons?

If not, you don’t actually have to do the thing. 

…

A love note for you: Women spend an awful lot of time telling themselves they should do things they don’t actually want to do. They all typically boil down to the same reason - we think we aren’t enough just as we are. Because that’s what we’ve been told. There’s always room for us to be better, and until we are “better”… until we are “enough”… we are not valuable as humans. When you start to truly believe in your enoughness, ignoring the shoulds becomes so much easier. So does creating the life you actually want. 

You know what else is easier? Having someone in your corner who already has 100% belief in your enoughness. I can be that person. Send me a DM or sign up for a free consult at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.