You can’t out achieve or out succeed shame and self-judgment.

If you rely on shame or self-judgment to motivate yourself, you’ve gotten where you are DESPITE that. Not because of it. 

When you’re motivated by shame and self-judgment, you try to act your way out of it, instead of examining and shifting your underlying beliefs. You try to achieve your way out of it. By getting the promotion. The new job. The title. The degrees. The relationship. The body. The habit streak. 

And where you are doesn’t feel good because you rely on shame and self-judgment as motivators to achieve and succeed. 

You cannot achieve or succeed your way into self-love or even self-acceptance. If you could, it would already have worked. 

The same brain that you used to shame yourself to get where you are is going to continue to shame you no matter what you change externally.

You will always create more of what you already believe. 

UNLESS

You change the way you talk to yourself. 

The way you think about yourself. 

The way that you treat yourself. 

The less shame you have the more actual change you will have. 

You might even find that you don’t want some of the changes you thought you did. 

Instead, they were just an ineffective tool you were using to try and finally feel good about yourself. 

A ❤️ note to you: If you’ve spent a lifetime using shame and self-judgment as motivation, it can feel daunting to try and unwind that. I’ve got you. Send me an email or sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.