Please stop doing this one thing.
If I could get you to do just one thing to make you feel less stressed about how much is on your plate, it would be this:
STOP WEAPONIZING YOUR TO-DO LIST.
Your to-do list is supposed to be helpful. Not something you create, and then use against yourself.
Here’s how I typically see it happening:
You create the to-do list.
You overfill it.
Then you think mean things about yourself when you inevitably don’t check things off.
Rinse and repeat.
You’re making your self-worth contingent on your to-do list - something you created and had total control over in the first place!
And I can almost guarantee you are setting yourself up for failure by creating to-do lists that aren’t attainable in the time you’ve allotted yourself to complete them.
All because you have the mistaken belief that your worth as a human being is connected to your productivity. That the more you get done the better you are. The better other people will think you are. Then maybe… just maybe… you can give yourself permission to be nice to yourself.
This belief is what leads to overestimating how much you can get done AND the subsequent self-flagellation when you don’t.
Now, that belief probably doesn’t sound like this in your head: “My productivity determines my self-worth.”
Instead, it probably sounds like:
“I should have gotten more done.”
“I’m so terrible at time management.”
“There’s way too much on my plate.”
“I’m so behind.”
“I can’t take time off.”
But if you keep digging in on these thoughts, by asking yourself “so what?” Or “Why?” You’re going to uncover the actual belief.
The one that tells you that you aren’t good enough and that you would be a better person if only you were able to get more done or be more productive.
There’s a better way. Promise.
You can get plenty of stuff done and feel good along the way by changing the way you think about and use your to-do list and the way you think about and talk to yourself.
A ❤️ note to you: If you feel like you don’t have control over your time, like you are always underwater or behind, or like your to do list never gets complete, I’ve got you. To start feeling better now, sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will talk about how you are currently using your to do list and managing your time, figure out exactly why it feels so bad, and what you can do to change that.
You can also pick up a free copy of my 10 Ways to Be and Feel Less Busy that I created for lawyers just like you: https://mailchi.mp/jenndealcoaching/10ways
