Should you ditch the positive affirmations?
The problem with positive affirmations...
They don’t always work. In fact, they rarely work. Not on the big stuff at least. Those limiting beliefs you’ve had for a very long time.
It’s really difficult for your brain to just shift directly from:
▫️“I’m so overwhelmed.” → “I have plenty of time to get things done.”
▫️“I’m a terrible friend.” → “I’m the best friend that ever existed.”
▫️“I’m a terrible person.” → “I’m inherently lovable.”
▫️“I’m not good at this.” → “I’m an amazing lawyer.”
▫️“Nothing I ever do is enough.” → “I’ve done enough, and I am enough.”
No matter how many times you repeat the affirmation.
Here’s the reason positive affirmations aren’t working for you:
You don’t believe them. At all.
There is research showing that positive affirmations work for people who already have high self-esteem and self-confidence.
BUT THEY ACTUALLY BACKFIRE for people with low self-esteem or low confidence, anxiety or depression, and even for people who are just ambivalent.
If you believe that you are unworthy, undeserving, unlovable, or selfish, or that you are not smart enough or not good enough, or that you do not belong or that you are lazy or unproductive—if that belief currently feels like a deeply inescapable truth to you—positive affirmations are going to send your brain into overdrive.
Your brain is always trying to prove your current beliefs true.
Your actual beliefs.
Not the thing you want to believe.
Positive affirmations can actually make your negative beliefs STRONGER.
Because your brain objects to the positive affirmation. It doesn’t believe the overly positive affirmation and starts looking for evidence to prove your current belief true.
If you have a strong limiting belief about yourself that you want to change, here’s how to think new thoughts that will actually get you where you want to go and start to truly shift your mindset.
First, start with neutral thoughts, bridge thoughts, or ladder thoughts. See here for more: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jenn-deal-coaching_mindset-coaching-leadership-activity-6839546778501615616-49Vc/
Second, only choose to work on thoughts that you actually believe. See here for more: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jenn-deal-coaching_mindset-womenempoweringwomen-coaching-activity-6840617811484704768-dhF2/
Third, practice the heck out of them. See here for more: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jenn-deal-coaching_mindset-coaching-personaldevelopment-activity-6840984140997832704-qkBI/
Do positive affirmations work for you? Where is the area in your life that they do work? Where don’t they work?
A ❤️ note to you: This is the kind of work I do with my clients, among many other things. We work to create mindset shifts that are actually effective and life changing. To get started showing up for yourself and feeling better, sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will talk about where you are, where you’d like to be, and how coaching can help.
