How to Say No at Work
If you Google “how to say no at work,” there’s no shortage of ways to phrase or frame a “no.” But I’m guessing that’s not really your problem.
It isn’t WHAT to say. It’s HOW to make yourself say anything at all.
It’s that no matter how you phrase it, it’s so uncomfortable to get it out of your mouth that you don’t say it. (At least not as often as you want or in certain situations where you really want to.)
Or it’s that no matter what words you can potentially use, you’re too afraid of what happens when you say “no,” so you say “yes.”
Or it’s that no matter what is going on, you never seem to have a “good enough” excuse to say “no,” so you say “yes.”
Even when you know you’re already at or past capacity.
Even when you know it’s going to ruin your weekend.
Even when you’re already on the edge of being burnt out.
Even when you know you’re going to hate the project or hate working with this person.
Even though you’re crushing your hours already.
Women get so much socialization starting so early that our value is determined by what or how much we do, what and how much we do for others, and what other people think of us (and in particular, whether they think we are nice, kind, and helpful). And anyone raised in the United States also has been inundated with productivity socialization their entire lives–learning over and over again that the more you do the better, being productive is good no matter the cost, and being lazy is one of the worst things you can be.
Of course, it feels bad to say “no.” Of course, your brain rarely thinks about whether it’s even an option.
But you can change that. Saying “no” is a skill you can build, and you can do it in a way that feels safe, doable, and aligned with who you want to be in this world.
That’s what I work with clients on. I’ve watched many amazing lawyers become people who can say “no” in a way that feels completely aligned. To get started becoming that version of yourself, sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.
