The Truth About Feelings and Truth

The strength of your feelings has nothing to do with how true your thought is.

The strength reflects the level of your belief in the thought. Your level of attachment to that thought.

For example, if you feel extreme shame…

It just means that you have a deep-seated belief that you did something shameful.

Not that you actually did something that is inherently shameful (because there’s no such thing as inherently shameful). Not that you are shameful. Not that you should be ashamed. 

Instead, it’s probably because somewhere along the way someone told you you should be ashamed of whatever it is, and you just adopted their belief without questioning it. We get so many of our beliefs this way. 

But a belief is something you can change if you want to. 

If you have a really strong emotional reaction to something, that is the perfect time to examine the belief causing the feeling. 

Observe it. Objectively and honestly.

Challenge it to open up your perspective. How could it not be true? What else could be true? 

Then start working to change it if it isn’t serving you or keep it if you want to.

But do not accept that it is true just because it causes a strong emotional reaction.

And remember, nothing has gone wrong. It’s human to have big feelings. It doesn’t mean anything about you. No need to judge.

You deserve grace.

From yourself.

For yourself.

You deserve compassion.

From yourself.

For yourself.

You deserve curiosity.

About yourself.

For yourself.

Always.

A love note to you: If self-compassion isn't your thing. I get it. But here's the deal. You've gotten really good at blaming and judging yourself. You're an expert. What that shows me is that you are capable of believing the things you think about yourself. Which means you can learn to think new things about yourself. You can learn to give yourself grace and compassion. I can help you with that. Email me (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free exploratory call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. Let me help you see that you deserve compassion and grace.