Artificial and arbitrary deadlines are inevitable. Being frustrated by them is not.

I used to get so frustrated by the fake deadlines. 

You know the ones. 

Where a partner asks for something by a specific date, and then doesn’t review it for a week after you frantically worked to turn it in by the deadline.

Or asks for something weeks before it’s due when you’re already slammed.

Or promises something to a client by a specific date without checking with you despite the fact that you’ll be doing the majority of the heavy lifting. 

“They shouldn’t do that.” 

That’s what I told myself. 

Then I’d get frustrated. Stew about it. Complain to my work BFF. Seek affirmation from others that it was in fact SO annoying.  Stew about it some more. 

Turn it in. 

Then repeat the process when inevitably neither the partner or the client looked at the thing for a while.

All resulting in me expending unnecessary mental and emotional energy.

With zero impact on the partner, the client, or the deadline.

Eventually I realized that the frustration was useless. I was the only one suffering. And nothing was changing.

If this resonates with you, there are a few things that can help:

First, acknowledge that telling yourself “they shouldn’t do that” isn’t useful or empowering, and stop doing it. It doesn’t matter if they should or shouldn’t. That thought is causing your frustration. Not the deadline. So it isn’t helpful. 

Second, you can decide not to be annoyed by it.

Of course they gave you artificial and arbitrary deadlines. That’s something people do sometimes. (And some people do it more often than others.)

There are a ton of reasons someone might set a deadline like that. Maybe they had every intention of looking at it when you sent it to them, but their schedule got out of control (as schedules are wont to do). Maybe they set the deadline because of their own anxiety or people pleasing tendencies. Maybe they didn’t realize how heavy the lift was for you or what your schedule looked like. Maybe they didn’t understand how amazing your first draft was going to be so they wanted you both to have time to address any issues. Maybe the client is completely unreasonable but brings in a ton of money. Maybe they were just being a jerk. 

The reason doesn’t actually matter. But running through them can help combat the idea that they “shouldn’t” have done it.

Finally, start exercising the control you do have.

Pushback.

Start to offer alternative deadlines. 

Start asking them to ask you before they give clients deadlines that involve you, especially if you are really busy. 

Start telling them you can get to that thing when they wanted it, but they weren’t going to get that other thing from you as soon as they wanted. 

Start saying you can’t make that work, someone else is going to have to do it.  

Start turning down matters from the people that you know have a habit of this. 

You don’t have to do that in every situation. You can pick and choose your battles. You can start small.

But those decisions? To stop creating your own frustration and to start exercising the control you’ve previously been giving up? Game changer. 

None of this is to say I think people SHOULD give you artificial and arbitrary deadlines. I don’t. I don’t think it’s necessary, and I don’t think it fosters a congenial work environment. 

But it’s going to happen. Even if the people you work for have the best intentions. 

When I was in a position to delegate work - I tried my hardest not to do this. And sometimes I failed. Because I’m human, and I make mistakes. 

So artificial and arbitrary deadlines are inevitable. But how you experience them is totally up to you..

A love note to you: It may sound impossible not to be annoyed by this. I promise it isn’t. I learned how to do it. And I help my clients learn to do it. You can too. What would it look like for you to no longer be annoyed by things at work? To be unbothered by other people and the way they show up? How would that impact your day-to-day? If you’re interested in learning how to be less frustrated with other people at work, let’s get started. Send me a DM or sign up for a free consult with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will talk about your specific pain points and how to fix them.