I’m a tennis player. Full stop.

That may not sound like a revelation, but it took intentional work to say just that without qualifying it. And lots of practice to get to the point of feeling zero discomfort when I say it with no qualifier.

Qualifiers like:

“But I’m not very good.”

“I don’t play at that high a level.”

“It’s just rec league tennis.”

People undoubtedly never thought I was claiming to be as good as Serena (the GOAT). In fact, they likely didn’t even think about my skill level until I raised it.

Yet I felt the need to make sure they knew that I wasn’t that good.

That I wasn’t bragging.

I wanted them to have the “right” context too.

I bet you’ve done this too. 

Maybe you call yourself a “jogger” instead of a “runner” because you “only” run a 12 minute mile or you walk/run.

Maybe you like to bake, but you always let people know your baked goods aren’t “Instaworthy” or that they are “ugly but taste good.”

Maybe it’s at work:

“Can I just ask a quick question?”

“Sorry to bother you, but...”

“It’s not a big deal, but...”

“...if that makes sense.” 

Or when someone congratulates you on or thanks you for something, you discount how much work it was or make a self-deprecating joke. Or you keep your ideas to yourself. Or you don’t push back when someone says something you disagree with. Or when you don’t ask for that opportunity, promotion, or raise.

You minimize yourself because you do not fully believe that you are enough.

Because that’s what you’ve been told time and time again. 

But you are completely worthy at this very moment.

To take up as much space as you want and can.

To state who you are, what you do, and what you’ve accomplished without minimizing it. 

To be proud of yourself.

And this world needs you to do just that.

The more space you take up, the more space you create for yourself and for others.

There are people in this world that do not want you to take up space or who will be uncomfortable if you do. There are systems in place that may make it harder for you to do so. There may be some trade offs if you do (and there are trade offs if you don’t).

But you still have a say in how you show up. That is yours to own.

How are you going to take up space this week?

What makes you proud of yourself?

No minimizing allowed.

A ❤️ note to you: 

If taking up space sounds scary or you just don’t know how, I can help. There’s so much socialization that women get that leads to them shrinking themselves. It can be hard to see on your own how that socialization is impacting the way you show up in the world. Let me help you uncover the rules you’ve been following that you don’t actually have to follow - and burn them to the ground. Send me an email (jenn@jenndealcoaching.com) or sign up for a free call with me to get started at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult.