How to Be Better at Taking Vacations - Part 2

Resting, relaxing, unplugging. They are hard.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. They are easy when you know how. They are hard when you don’t know how. 

In our culture, overwork is prized.

Hustle and grind is used proudly as a hashtag. We are conditioned to believe that we should be productive ALL. THE. TIME.

So of course resting, relaxing, and unplugging seem hard.

Because you don’t know how. Because you believe you don’t deserve it. Because you believe you have to earn it. Because you believe it means something about you as a human being if you slow down and disconnect from work. Because you think you can’t. Because you worry about what other people will think. Because when you try to do it, it feels the opposite of restful and relaxing.

All the negative emotions come up.

So of course you don’t like to rest. Of course you don’t think you can unplug. (Yet.)

The way you are doing it now feels AWFUL.

So my next tip for enjoying your next vacation?

Start learning how to rest and relax NOW. Start learning how to unplug NOW. In your everyday life. 

You can’t expect to believe that rest has to be earned or that resting is lazy or that unplugging is impossible or that relaxing is morally wrong 350+ days a year and then magically be able to do it on a vacation.

So, how do you learn how to rest, relax, and unplug?

(1) Start with awareness.

What are your thoughts about resting, relaxing, and unplugging? What makes them hard? 

How do those thoughts make you feel? 

When you feel that way, how do you act or not act? How are you avoiding, resisting, or reacting to those emotions in a way that doesn’t serve you?

What result is that creating for you?

(2) Begin unraveling your social conditioning around rest, relaxation, and unplugging. 

Once you’ve figured out what your thoughts are about rest, relaxation, and unplugging and how those thoughts impact your life - challenge them.

How are they not true? What else could be true? 

(3) Practice.

Practice sitting with the discomfort of resting, relaxing, and unplugging in small doses. 20 minutes here, an hour there. Half a day here, a full day there. 

It’s going to be really uncomfortable at first. That’s ok. That’s normal.

Allow those negative thoughts and emotions to be there and rest, relax, and unplug anyways.

Show your brain that nothing will go wrong if you slow down.

***

What are your long-held beliefs about resting, relaxing, and unplugging?

What emotions come up for you when you try to take time off?

The beliefs/thoughts I’ve had to unravel to learn how to rest:

Resting is lazy → shame

There’s too much to do → overwhelm

It won’t get done if I don’t do it → anxiety

People will have to pick up my slack → guilt

It will hurt my career if I take time off → anxiety

My thoughts now?

All humans need rest → worthy

It is possible for me to take time off, and I can figure out how to make it work → capable

The work always gets done → calm

I am not indispensable → trusting

Taking time off makes me a better lawyer → committed

A ❤️ note to you: Resting, relaxing, and unplugging isn’t an easy skill to learn for overachievers and overworkers. It helps to have someone guiding you. I’ve got you. I love helping women lawyers learn how to rest, relax, and unplug. Send me an email or sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult to get started.

📸: My last vacation from earlier this year.