If you’ve worked in a billable hour model, you’re familiar with it.

At the top of the seesaw, too many hours. At the bottom, not enough hours.

Comparison is the thief of joy. And growth and change.

But only if you are using it against yourself.

All things women I’ve spoken to over just the last few weeks have worried about being perceived as.

How do you feel when you think about yourself that way?

Probably not great.

But more often than not, the confusion isn’t real.

It’s usually masking fear.

You take your human brain with you on vacation.

Along with all of your unrealistic human expectations and your repeated human thought patterns and your human emotions.

So does everyone else you go with.

We can’t leave our humanness behind.

Decide BEFORE you go on vacation, whether you are going to work, how often, and how much.

If you don’t want to work, don’t work.

If you do want to do some work, do.

But make the decision in advance. Know your reasons for your decision. And make sure you like them.

Resting, relaxing, unplugging. They are hard.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. They are easy when you know how. They are hard when you don’t know how.

I was not good at vacations once I became a lawyer.

Dear junior associates,

I hear you telling yourself “I should be faster at this” or “this is taking me too long.”

SAYS WHO?!

Here are some additional tactics you can try out to be more intentional about your time:

One way to “feel” less busy (i.e., to feel less overwhelmed and exhausted) is to do less. To be more intentional about your time.

Cultivating a less busy life and mindset can seem like no easy feat in our productivity obsessed culture and with all of the external pressures and expectations we face or perceive.

Doing so requires that you start adding intentionality where none has existed before. In a life that is already jam-packed with all the things. In an environment that doesn’t often encourage or reward it.

The key is to start small. Try this when your life is feeling too busy:

Busy is not a badge of honor.

But in our society, we tend to wear it that way.

Like in the workplace.

Women are taught from an early age to be deferential, humble, nice, and accommodating.

We learn to be the good girl in school. To follow the rules, get good grades, and not make trouble.

To put our heads down and quietly do all the work.

And wait for others to notice.

Guilt comes up all the time in my conversations with women about why their life doesn’t look or feel the way they want it to.

When you feel resentment or envy, your brain is usually telling you that there is something you want that you don’t have (yet).

What is it?

Why aren’t you creating it for yourself? What’s holding you back?

Most likely, it’s one of two things (or both).

That may not sound like a revelation, but it took intentional work to say just that without qualifying it. And lots of practice to get to the point of feeling zero discomfort when I say it with no qualifier.

It’s just part of being human.

But you can (1) change your relationship with your thoughts, (2) rewire thought patterns, and (3) embrace the non-negotiable reality that you will always be a human with negative thoughts and emotions.

All of which will change what your life feels like and looks like for the better.