Are you putting together a weekly or daily to-do list that you inevitably aren’t going to complete?

Do you get zero satisfaction out of checking things off that list and focus instead on all the things that are left?

I’ve got a solution for you.

If you rely on shame or self-judgment to motivate yourself, you’ve gotten where you are DESPITE that. Not because of it.

The ever present dilemma when you're newer or junior.

It can feel scary to ask questions of people more senior than you. No matter what the question is.

I spent 10 months on track to bill 2300 hours once in my career. (And only once.)

It never occurred to me to question how much I was working.

Or to ask for help.

I just thought it was something that had to be done.

This one is for all my folks who are always, often, or regularly underwater. The ones who have a ton of work all the time.

And yet somehow still think they're not good at their jobs or experienced significant self-doubt or imposterisms.

⭐️⭐️If you were truly bad at your job, you wouldn't have so much work.⭐️⭐️

If you tend to procrastinate because you think you are “better” at getting things done at the last minute or you’re “better” at working under pressure…

You may be familiar with the quote “Stop expecting you from other people.”

I can't figure out who exactly it originated from, but it’s a great one.

There’s an additional important component to this idea that you have to wrap your head around if you want to truly reduce the negative emotion and brain drama you have around the way other people show up.

I’m a guest on the most recent episode of my favorite podcast! The one that changed my life:

Unf*ck Your Brain with Kara Loewentheil

About 5.5 years ago, I was at a breaking point in my career.

I was miserable every day. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Confused. Stuck.

I hit my 250th Orange Theory class! 🎉🏆 I celebrated myself with a self-high five and mental acknowledgement that I was proud of me.

It had me reflecting on when I hit my 200th class late last year, and I didn’t celebrate myself. At least not initially.

Here’s what I shared when I hit 200 last year:

Not just that it just felt bad. 

But that it was a problem. And useless. And that it meant something about me as a person that I was anxious so much. Which made me anxious about being anxious.

There’s a huge difference between truly wanting to do something and only believing that you should do it.

Notice where you are telling yourself that you want to do something, but you aren’t actually doing it.

Do you actually want to do it?

Or do you just think you should?

Everything we do involves making choices.

When we don’t make our own choices, we let other people make our choices for us. Or a past version of ourselves or an unintentional version of ourselves. Or our socialization. Or the universe.

What circumstantial evidence are you ignoring or discounting?

How can it support the belief you are trying to create?

How can you make the case for your dreams and desires instead of against them?

What does it look like to use gratitude against yourself?

Thoughts like:

“I should be more grateful.”

“I have it better than other people, so I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“I don’t want to be ungrateful.”

Sometimes you might WANT to overachieve.

It might serve you.

You might like your reasons.

How are Perfectionist Overachievers created?

In many different ways. You have your own story of course.

But I see lots of commonalities in where it begins.

Merriam-Webster defines an overachiever as “one who achieves success over and above the standard or expected level….”

Sounds pretty good right?

It’s been almost 7 months since I withdrew from the partnership at my BigLaw firm.

This is the concept that I kept coming back to when I was deciding whether to leave. And the one I still come back to 7 months later.

Problems are forever.

About yourself. 

Your limiting beliefs.

Your potential. 

This week I’ve been talking about those times where you tell yourself that you understand something logically or intellectually but… you feel like you still can’t change your behavior accordingly.

And you don’t like it.