You do not “have” to attend that event at work or that family function.

You do not “have” to say yes to that project, that case, that client, or that assignment, that favor for a friend, or that request from your child’s teacher.

You are not anxious. You FEEL anxious.

You are not an anxious person. You are a person who feels anxious sometimes.

No one actually is.

But we tell ourselves that we are.

And if you’re a woman, you’ve been taught the myth that you are better at it or at least that you should be. A myth that has you constantly taking on more and more.

In reality, it isn’t good or bad.

It just is.

But when it comes from a place of tying your self worth to achievement and external validation, it often leads to the opposite of what overachievers want.

Where we compare the current version of us to some past version of us that was doing “better.”

A version of us that was more productive. That had more energy. Looked different. Was more “successful.” Happier. Who exercised more and ate differently. Got up earlier. Or whatever it is for you.

It’s exhausting.

And unfulfilling.

It doesn’t work.

I used to get so frustrated by the fake deadlines.

You know the ones.

I loved being an associate.

I loved the work.

I loved feeling like I had the safety net of brilliant people looking over my work and telling me what to do.

That’s not a rhetorical question.

I really want to know.

What does joy feel like in your body?